BY Dinakin Kayode, dyna
It is generally known that one’s upbringing determines or plays a huge factor in how one reacts to certain circumstances and obstacles faced in the course of living. Irrespective of genetic factors inherited from parents, one’s upbringing or social education from childhood could alter the purpose for which one was created. Let me expatiate a little with the story of a man and an eagle's egg: There was a man who was walking down a path, then finds an eagle’s egg. He takes this egg, and puts it into the nest of a backyard hen. Pretty soon, the eagle hatches with the chicks and grows up with them. All his life, that eagle did what the chickens did. He would poke around in the dirt looking for worms and insects to eat, he would fly a few feet into the air like chickens do, he would cluck around. As time passed, that eagle grew very old. One day, he saw something above him, this thing, it glided gracefully and majestically through the clouds. With all sorts of curiosity, it asks “what’s that?”, one of the chickens responded, “that’s an eagle, he is the king of all birds, the master of the skies, but we, belong to the ground because we are just chickens. Don’t worry about him, you will never be that”. And that eagle lived and died a chicken because that is what he thought he was. Despite the fact that it was born an eagle, its upbringing wavered its true instincts of been an eagle. How were You brought up? Yes, You.
As parents, in what manner are we bringing up our children? Of course, parents have the 'right' to bring up their children the way they feel is best, but the right to choose whichever path to follow falls on the child but should be guided still by the parents. Too much of anything is detrimental, too much of discipline is detrimental. When a parent is too rigid in disciplining their children, they become domesticated. How is a child domesticated? Let’s relate this to how a dog is been domesticated by its owner. It is told when and when not to sit, eat, where and where not to go, and operates under specific rules prescribed by its owner. Same applies with domesticating a child, his way of thinking is enclosed by the rules and regulations given by his owner/guardian, things he can and cannot do, heights he can and cannot attain and soon enough, these rules become the laws to which he operates because this mentality has been imbibed in his modus operandi. If he goes against this law, he gets punished. Likewise, if he follows accordingly, he is rewarded. A domesticated child is one that cannot make decisions on his own without considering people’s opinion first above his. His sole aim is to please others and his life is ruled by fear of what people will say.
Most times, we advice people on issues corresponding to our beliefs and capabilities. The setbacks we faced and were unable to overcome makes us discourage someone who has chosen to go through that same path. In life, I’ve learnt that if you’re not ready to take risks, successful achievements may or will be minimal. ‘How big are your balls?' An important prerequisite to attaining success is Courage. It’s impossible to find a truly successful human on this earth(dead or alive) who lacked courage and the willingness to take risks. But take note that Success is dependent on so many factors not just courage. Although, I’m not all that religious per say, I love referring to things related to the bible. Even the bible expects us to be full of courage. These are perilous times, times were one could easily be knocked off, times that isn’t for the weak hearted but for the strong and courageous. This leads to the highlights I’ve put down to overcome tameness and lead us to a successful path in these times we are caught up in currently.
(1) Have the Right Mindset. Most of us might have one way or the other gone through the process of been domesticated by either our parents or guardians. Our mindset has been changed because new rules have been accepted and imbibed into our way of life. Where we do things to please others and worry about what people might say or think about us. The first and most important step in order to overcome tameness is to have a change of mindset that life isn’t based on what people may chatter about you but the impact and value you give to others. It is a great sin not to fulfil the reason for one’s existence. The right mindset to have is that we are alive for a particular reason and we are expected to discover the reason why and fulfil it. We are not subjected to anyone’s critics because the only person that can prevent you from fulfilling purpose at a maximal level is standing right in front of your mirror. You hold the key to your Breakthrough so why not break any form of chain or stronghold people’s opinion have over your life and begin to aim high and think fast.
(2) Invest in yourself. I was privileged to be at a talk show recently when one of the speaker stressed on this topic, investing in yourself. What we invest in ourselves matter a lot. If you eat unhealthy food, your body will not develop properly and as expected. Likewise, what emanates from our brain determines on what is fed in it. So the question is, “What do you invest in yourself?” Just as we feed our stomach with food and water, our skin with cream and lotion, we are in the same manner expected to feed our brain with new knowledge everyday. As a matter of fact it is a very big responsibility to take huge sacrifices: financially, physically, etc., in order to acquire knowledge abundantly. If you’re an interior designer, you should feed yourselves with things pertinent to interior designing, such as learning new and latest styles, combination of colours to match and sort of. You should go the extra mile of attending seminars, expensive ones if possible just to Up your Game and improve your knowledge capacity. Just as someone who’s clearly in need of clothes cannot offer his colleague clothes, you cannot offer value when you don’t have the required knowledge.
(3) Courage. This is more of an internal belief. It is an inner drive which graces one with the urge to perform a resolution without giving up in the long run. Courage takes away any form of intimidation or fear. In this cruel and perilous time we are currently in, whereby one can easily be knocked off the ladder for selfish interests and stabbed in the back, one should be well equipped with courage and a never give up attitude. People find Courage a very challenging attribute because it is somewhat an antonym of fear and fear is one thing that hasn’t gone out of our system at a hundred percent. But as we fill ourselves with Courage, fear gradually makes way. The two cannot be together in one body.
(4) Have a good Plan as well as an alternative one. What’s a Good Plan? It contains strategic intentions that are mutually related in order to achieve a goal. A king cannot go into a battle without strategizing on ways and methods to subdue his enemies. In similar manner, if you want to overcome gigantic stumbling blocks and challenges in life, it is expected that one draws out a well detailed strategy. "If you fail to plan, you plan to fail"- Benjamin Franklin. A good plan brings about confidence and helps to overcome tameness. “Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I will spend the first four sharpening the axe”- Abraham Lincoln. These are little of the large number of successful people in their respective fields to live this earth stressing on the importance of having a plan before any chance of victory can happen. But not having a plan B, is as detrimental as not having a plan at all. A back up plan is necessary too for safety reasons. I’ve listened to successful people talk about how their initial plan was a total failure, but their back-up plan/plan B ended up being the route to their success. The goal of a back-up plan is expected to be the same with the initial one but the strategies in carrying out either of them should vary. Also, a plan isn’t expected to be unnecessarily bulky but somewhat concise so it can be easily grasped.
(5) Like friends with reasonable connections. Within the few years I’ve lived, I’ve got to realize, by experience too, that the friends you keep matters a whole lot in fulfilling your dreams. When I say like friends, I mean friends with related dreams and mindset like you. If we look at the life of our Savior, Jesus Christ, He cherished, mostly, walking with His chosen disciples because they also had like mindset and vision. If you find out your life isn’t moving forward or getting any better, do a quick check on the type of friends you’re keeping or surrounding yourself with and this may serve as an eye opener. Having reasonable connections is also one way or the other mandatory. A connection in relation to this is a link between you and your desired destination. Definitely there are people who have gotten there already but you need a form of link/ connection to meet with such people and possibly get a chance to announce and advertise your worth. Start having reasonable contacts/ connections and build a long lasting relationship when necessary. “If you’re going to live in the river, better make friends with the crocodiles.”
(6) Study the actions of successful ones in your field. We sharpen our pencils with a sharpener when it is blunt, we also sharpen our knives for same reason. It is expected that during the hardship of life, we might get blunt. A form at which we can sharpen our lives and get back on track is studying and having an in-depth analysis on the steps successful ones, those who have made it already in their respective fields related to you, took in getting back right on track.
(7) Have a right stand with God. If we have all these things listed above in a perfect manner but fail to be on a right track with God, what exactly is the essence? Just as a servant is subjected to his master, we as creations of God are subjected to our Maker. So if the relationship with our Maker is dim, then the end is definitely destruction. This is somewhat personal, but the little piece of advice you can get from me is that; without a good and perfect relationship with your Maker, then, all the efforts will be for NOTHING.
These are also key attributes needed in the journey of life
• Patience
• Positive Thinking
• Being Selfless and Humble
• Hard work
I’m someone with the conviction that there's no one who doesn't have the ability and capability to be a success (impactful) but the full responsibility lies in each and every one of us. This is actually in relation to my dad’s conviction as well that no one should be underestimated in life. A riffraff of today might end up been the last person you dearly need to sign that big contract of yours. So why underestimate anyone when you don’t know what the future holds.
No one is born a champion, but grows to become one. It is mandatory to acquire knowledge at all costs and all times because learning is an unending process.
In summary, I made mention of a major dream killer most of us are currently experiencing which is been domesticated/ tamed and in turn full of fear. Equip yourselves with the right tools/people and gradually watch yourself become a goal getter. I, personally am not where I want to be or even close but I’m sure that with this mindset and perspective of life, I will get there in due time.
*In an article, it is not expected that the whole message creates a spark but one little part of the message can cause a spark because, definitely, there will be one or two things that can be related to our lives currently and can serve as a life changing solution. I hope this short article affects each and every one of us in one way or aspect of our lives*. Stay Blessed.
